The Seven Levels of Intimacy

We all yearn for intimacy, but we avoid it. We want it badly, but we often run from it. At some deep level we sense that we have a profound need for intimacy, but we are afraid to go there. Why?

We avoid intimacy because having intimacy means exposing our secrets. Being intimate means sharing the secrets of our hearts, minds, and souls with another fragile and imperfect human being. Intimacy requires that we allow another person to discover what moves us, what inspires us, what drives us, what eats at us, what we are running toward, what we are running from, what self-destructive enemies lie within us, and what wild and wonderful dreams we hold in our hearts.

In The Seven Levels of Intimacy, Matthew Kelly teaches us in practical and unforgettable ways how to know these things about ourselves and how to share ourselves more deeply with the people we love. This book will change the way you approach your relationships forever!


Hardcover — $26.95 — 9781942611363
Softcover — $17.95 — 9781942611424
CD-ROM — $10.00 — 9781937509101
eBook — $9.99 — 9781942611271



3 reviews for The Seven Levels of Intimacy

  1. Publishers Weekly

    A throwaway buzzword in pop psychology, intimacy remains a litmus test for the health of relationships and is something everyone should strive for, says Kelly, the bestselling author of The Rhythm of Life. “Intimacy is the one thing a person cannot live happily without,” he writes. Since many people cling to the “pubescent notion” that intimacy and sex are synonymous, Kelly begins by talking about what intimacy is not-sex, common interests-and proffering up inspirational tidbits and oft heard motivational questions (“Who energizes you?” “Why do they energize you?” “How do you want to be remembered?”) before hammering home the thesis of this book: intimacy is a “legitimate need.” His seven levels of intimacy-clichés; facts; opinions; hopes and dreams; feelings; faults, fears and failures; and legitimate needs-each get a chapter-length discussion. Kelly advocates openness-in communication, enduring pain, delaying gratification-and sprinkles in bits of spirituality in cajoling readers to foster intimacy, and, in turn, love and the meaning of life. “Life is about love. It’s about whom you love and whom you hurt. Life’s about how you love and hurt the people close to you.” His view may seem simplistic, but Kelly’s simple, direct prose and patient explanations will appeal to spiritual readers.

  2. Harville Hendrix, Ph. D., author of Getting the Love You Want: A Guide for Couples

    A highly readable, well-written book that contains deep wisdom and practical guidance about relationships that will be useful to everyone seeking genuine and durable intimacy, especially couples. I especially appreciate his thesis that love is a commitment to helping the other become the best person he can be. I highly recommend it.

  3. Hal Urban, author of Life’s Greatest Lessons and Positive Words, Positive Results

    Matthew Kelly reminds us that love and intimacy aren’t just cozy feelings that drop into our laps. They’re the result of hard work and the giving of ourselves — and lead to the ultimate joys of life. A wonderful book about an important subject — readable and full of wise and practical suggestions.

Add a review